In the 1960 movie "The Time Machine," H. G. Wells' time traveler, played by Rod Taylor, travels to a future in which mankind has evolved into two species, one of which breeds the other for food. When the one species needs
more food, they blow a whistle. The other species goes into a trance and, in a herd, walks toward its doom.

Every year about Thanksgiving time I think about that movie as Americans suddenly seem to go into a trance and, in a herd, drive to the nearest mall and financial doom. Now I'm not accusing the merchants of America of breeding us for Christmas fleecing, although in this age of conspiracy theories of all stripes this one would be no less unbelievable than many others. I will say, however, that a lot of January's financial problems could be avoided by thinking first before reaching for those credit cards in November and December. And this thinking should begin with an examination of the purpose of Christmas.

When I was a college freshman, an essay titled "But What's a Dictionary For?" was required reading. The essay dealt with, I believe, Webster's Second
International Dictionary, which had been released without atlases and a lot of appendices people had come to expect from an unabridged dictionary. The point of the essay was the dictionary did its job. It provided information about words. And that's what a dictionary was supposed to do. Custom had come to dictate a dictionary do more. The essay suggested we back off and consider
the function of a dictionary rather than what we had become accustomed to.

Similarly, I think it's time we ask the same question of Christmas. What is Christmas for? Is it a time to go into debt buying people things they neither want nor need in order to fulfill a perceived obligation? Is it a time to spend waiting in long lines at sterile shopping malls? Is it a time
to curse our fellow man because we can't find a parking place?

Christmas is supposed to be an enjoyable time of the year. But how many of us spend November and December wishing it were over and done with for another year, and then, in January, we are depressed because we feel like we missed it altogether? Could it be we feel that way because the way we celebrate Christmas is not a celebration at all and has little resemblance to the whole purpose of the holiday?

Christmas is a religious holiday. It is the celebration of the birth of Christianity's raison d'etre.  It is a time for families to get together - especially in our transient society. And it is a holiday for children.

Each Christmas my family gets together in the middle part of the country. For years each of us engaged in the frenzy of trying to guess what the others would like. Each year some of us would be irritated by not getting as good a gift as we believed we had given. We would worry about how to get the things home. And about where we would store them once we got them there. And each
year the gifts were less and less what we wanted or needed.

After several years of getting things that would be kept for a decent period of time and then be donated, thrown out, or used for garage sale fodder, my family finally declared a gift truce. We don't give gifts anymore. If one of us wants something, we buy it for ourselves. We don't have to worry about storage space, schlepping things home on an airplane, or hurting anyone's feelings. The stress caused by worrying about gifts is gone. And we enjoy each other's company. To me, that's what Christmas is for.

And Christmas is for children. But be realistic. Don't go hopelessly in debt to make that one day wonderful for little Johnny and Suzy. Be sensible so they can enjoy the other 364 days of the year.

One of the most miserable Christmases I ever had was when my parents bought me nearly everything a kid could ask for. I had been very ill that year. I had mumps which became encephalitis - sleeping sickness. Weeks after
I left the hospital, my grandfather was killed in an automobile accident and my grandmother suffered injuries from which she never fully recovered. Six weeks after my grandparents' accident, my uncle died suddenly. My parents tried to "make up for a miserable year" by giving their children a wonderful Christmas. I was seven years old and I'd done a lot of growing up that year. I knew they couldn't afford all those things. And knowing that made me miserable.

On the other hand, one of the best Christmases I ever had as a child was the year I got a Candyland game. It could have been any game, but my parents took the time to play the game with us children. It isn't how much stuff you give children that counts. It's how much of you they get. They may whine they want more things, but give them your time. The things won't last. The memory of the time you gave them will. In other words, even children can have very nice Christmases without an abundance of gifts.

I suggest you try a Christmas for which you give modest gifts only to your children. Tell the adults you normally buy things for that this is what you plan to do and ask them to reciprocate. Then go through with it. If they give you gifts, anyway, don't feel guilty. They were forewarned. Simply thank them for their gifts and reiterate your position. Sooner or later they will get the message. But don't cave in. Don't let them blackmail you with gifts into rejoining the gift wars.

I am willing to make one exception to this rule. If you have elderly relatives living on a fixed income, you may buy them gifts provided you buy them something they can use. This means no knick knacks. No dishes (how many
old people do you see shopping for additional things to dust?) and so on. Consider buying them a cooked ham, a cooked turkey, or something they will consume. My grandmother loved to get preserves for Christmas.

By declaring an end to the gift wars, you may be giving the greatest gift of all to your friends and family - more time to enjoy their holidays. A few years ago a friend was telling me how frustrating Christmas had become for him. His son, daughter-in-law, and their two children hit my friend's house early in the day, had breakfast and opened presents there (leaving a mess), and hurried off to his wife's parents' house, (many miles away) where they did the same thing and ate a Christmas dinner at noontime. Then they returned to my friend's house for Christmas dinner in the evening. My friend lamented that the children were in a foul mood, and all his son could do was
collapse in front of the television, leaving my friend and his wife to clean up the mess. It occurred to me as I was hearing this story that this was no fun for any of the participants. I asked, "Have you ever thought that your
son may be doing this because he thinks it is what you want?" My friend's face lit up. He said, "You're probably right! I'm going to talk to him and put a stop to this nonsense." And he did. It turned out this was a situation
where everyone was doing what they thought other people expected them to do. And everyone wound up miserable. A little honesty here could net you much
more enjoyable holidays.

Stay out of the malls. Spend time with your family. This is what Christmas is for! Have yourself a frugal little Christmas.

For information on Larry Roth’s Living Cheap Press, visit his Web site at www.livingcheap.com.  

Larry Roth's book, Beating the System, can be purchased in Mind Like Water's Coral Reef Store.